Secrets of life

Hi neighbors. Have you heard the older popular song about two guys in a bar sitting around thinking -- trying to figure out the secret of life? The bartender tells them there is no "secret" to life. But I think we all have wondered about some weird things that are common -- but make no sense at all.

For instance; who would devise a mirror used to view oncoming traffic or stationary objects to the side and rear in order to gage the distance between those objects and your own car and stick a warning on it that says "objects in mirror may be closer than they appear?" Does that make any sense at all?

Don't you wonder who the person (or more likely the committee) was that invented such a mirror? I suppose just knowing some thing is some where back there has to be good enough for us. Figuring out how close anything actually is now requires sticking your head out of the window and eyeballing it. That might be the safest way anyhow as far as trash cans and garage walls are concerned. I wouldn't recommend sticking your head too far out the window in fast-moving traffic to consider whether or not to change lanes.

Another thing that occasionally gets me to pondering is how that cat got in the locker on Alien -- and how did it shut the door on itself? My son's cat has gotten itself shut in the bathroom and my bedroom by pushing on the door from the inside, never from pulling the door shut with its paws.

I don't think any cat's reach would be long enough to pull shut a fully-opened locker door while sitting in the locker. So how did the locker door get shut?

Why do some buildings have wide and shallow steps? Haven't you seen stairways (usually outside leading into the building) that are two feet wide and only elevate two inches at a time? These steps are awkward and pointless. You have to take a step and a half to cross one stair to step up to the next one. If they were narrower you could probably take them three at a time -- but you have to step-shuffle-step-shuffle all the way up.

Why do they have "down" escalators? It is certainly not so you can carry your shopping load any easier. You have to constantly be rearranging it anyway to see when you're going to hit the end of the escalator. Heaven help you if you misjudge the steps when you get on or off. If you are at the top of a down escalator and miss your step -- well, it's a long way down. "Up" escalators make sense. If you miss the first step nothing happens. You just wait for the next one. If you fall down, you keep going up. If you keep your toes turned up you can walk off the top step blinded by shopping bags and boxes and not worry. "Up" escalators are good. Although all escalator steps are too narrow!

Why don't they have automatic house door openers? You can open your garage door, open your trunk, unlock your car -- even start your car, from several yards away. But you can't automatically unlock your house or better yet, open your house doors with a hand-held remote.

If we are so bent on thinking green, why can't people buy individual-sized wind-powered electric generators? We can buy small gasoline powered generators -- why not a windmill for every farm house? It's not like windmills are something new to farmers.

Have you ever wondered why some people use styling gel AND hair spray?

Why do people in horror movies run past the open front door and upstairs to avoid the monster chasing them?

Why is it that some people can text message on a tiny cell phone keyboard, but can't type on a computer?

Why do people hang up on answering machines before leaving a message?

Why can't dog people and cat people just get along?

There are a lot of mysteries in life. Some of them are true enigmas, some are just plain silly. Although I don't think the secret of life can be found in a bar -- and I don't know how many searches for it begin there -- I do agree with another line from that song.

"The secret of life is a good cup of coffee."

Until the next time friends remember when you see something that makes you shake your head in wonderment, or scratch your head in befuddlement -- have a cup of coffee before you give up trying to figure it out.