Memorial Day weekend

Hi neighbors. Monday is Memorial Day and I hope you can join your family in placing flowers and flags on your ancestors' graves.

Many people feel Memorial Day is a time to recognize the importance in our lives of those people we knew or were related to who have died.

I prefer to think of it as a time to ponder the steady march of history through our connection to people who have lived.

Putting flowers and flags near tombstones isn't just a form of remembering those who have passed. It is a way of honoring the life they lived, not simply acknowledging the fact that they died and are buried beneath their markers.

Some people use their tombstones simply to mark when they were born and when they died. Newer stones often have pictures of the vocation or hobbies of the deceased.

We are all familiar with traditional tombstone inscriptions, but some of the more adventurous (or plain ornery) folks liked to use their tombstones to continue arguments they had maintained with any who would listen all of their lives. I guess that is their way of 'getting the last word.'

While doing genealogy research I found a fine example of this. One old fellow wrote his own epitaph and insisted it all be inscribed on his marker. Because of it's contentiousness, through time various family members had it (not him) dug up and stored elsewhere. Some of the more outrageous lines were even chiseled off!

He had been a pioneer and moved often and acquired a great deal of land and wealth. Also a large amount of nay-sayers who didn't approve of or with his homespun political and religious viewpoints. He was well known for his arguments against the church he once belonged to and politicians in general.

But, the "cantankerous" gene was a strong one it seems, and once his original written copy of his epitaph was found, and his grandson was no longer president of the United States, some of the "politically incorrect" phrases were reapplied and his tombstone replaced over his grave. As long as people retain a sense of humor and a liberal outlook, I suppose it will remain as is. Here is the current rendition of it.

"Here lies the dust of old E.P.

An instance of Mortality;

Pennsylvania born, Carolina bred;

In Tennessee died in his bed

His useful days he spent in pleasure;

His latter days, in gathering treasure;

From superstition lived quite free

And practiced strict morality

To holy cheats was never willing

To give one solitary shilling

First fruits and tenths are odious things,

And so are bishops, tithes and kings."

There was another couplet that named the particular branch of Christianity which garnered his contempt; but that was chiseled out and not replaced as there were (and still are) members of his own family who participate in that particular denomination.

Most people seem to want to "rest peacefully" when dead, without contention or tirades on any mortal subject. Cemeteries and other final resting places of human remains try to offer a sense of peacefulness and calm contemplation for the visitors as well.

Although there was a time in the early 1900s when urban cemeteries were decorated and celebrated as recreational parks, too often most rural cemeteries were laid out on land not useful for much else.

As practical as this idea was, it sometimes makes it difficult to find flowers or foliage that will grow in what is often clay, sand or rocky ground.

Once cemetery proprietors get grass to grow, they really don't want someone trying to start flower beds that no one will weed. By the way, if you have ancestors buried in rural cemeteries, you might want to contribute a little cash to the caretaker to help buy gas for the lawnmowing. Many cemeteries are maintained by volunteers only and if they are willing to donate their time and lawnmowers to keep things looking nice, it would be appropriate to help out with the high costs of gasoline.

Since most places don't want living flowers planted, many people resort to using artificial flowers to decorate graves.

These artificial flower arrangements can be beautifully intricate or as simple as a small bouquet tied together with a ribbon. Some people choose to leave real cut flowers.

Whether or not you get to the actual cemeteries where your family and friends are buried, take a little time this long weekend to remember them and how they were when they were alive. That's much more important than putting flowers on a tombstone.