Statistics indicate domestic abuse rises over holidays

When many people think about Christmas, they have visions of Christmas trees and presents. They imagine everyone with smiles on their faces because of the Christmas spirit. However, for some, life is quite the opposite.

According to Wellness.com, an on-line Web site that is dedicated to helping people learn more about achieving health and happiness, domestic abuse increases during the holiday season.

"Law enforcement has traditionally responded to more domestic and assault calls during the holiday season. Time off from work, kids off from school, financial obligations for gifts and travel and too much family togetherness can cause stress that may mask an underlying increase in depression, alcohol and substance abuse, suicide and domestic violence," the statement said.

The Valley Mental Health, located in Salt Lake City, Utah, attributes the increase in abuse during the holidays to unrealistic expectations.

"Holidays are often built up by what we think they should be. We are influenced by how holidays are portrayed in movies, television, advertisements -- the traditional Norman Rockwell calendars. . . Stress and exhaustion make us vulnerable to conflict -- saying or doing things that we might regret later because emotions take over and rational thinking or behavior goes out the window," the VMH statement said.

VMH offers various tips that will help those who are feeling as if they might lose their cool. It is often helpful for couples to plan together, creating realistic expectations for the upcoming holiday. It is extremely helpful to stay focused on the positive, making sure that entertaining, cooking and social commitments are not over-done. The holidays will go a lot smoother if everyone avoids making negative comments, which may offend a friend or family member. It is important for those who are celebrating to refrain from consuming an overabundance of alcoholic beverages.

"When people drink excessively, they are more likely to say or do something which will hurt others," the VMH statement said.

It can sometimes help to have a plan should family members need to be redirected to a calmer activity, such as playing games or watching movies, VMH said.

According to the Family Violence Prevention Fund, www.endabuse.org, "thirty percent of Americans say they know a woman who has been physically abused by her husband or boyfriend in the past year," the statement said.

With this in mind, the Crisis Resource Center of Southeast Kansas offers information for those who may find themselves in a position to help someone in an abusive situation.

The CRC advises friends and family members who encounter someone who is in the midst of abuse to listen to them if they need to talk. The organization urges caution, though, as not to make the victim feel that the listener is not being supportive. It is important for the victim to feel comfortable. A victim should never be blamed for what is happening. It is also important that friends and family members do not underestimate the victim's fears of potential danger. It is important for the victim to feel understood.

Victims may need assistance gathering useful information and resources, which help the victim find much needed help. Those who are suffering from abuse should know that they are not alone and be encouraged to seek the help of an abuse advocate, hospital or police officer.

Some victims may need friends and family members to help them locate temporary housing, such as a battered women's shelter. If no shelter is available, the victim may need to stay with a friend or family member temporarily. However, since victims usually face the most danger when he or she tries to get away, friends and family members should beware that offering shelter could cause the abuser to throw threats toward him or her as well.

For those who may find themselves in the grip of violence this holiday season, the National Domestic Violence Hotline, (800) 799-7233 and the CRC crisis hotline (800) 794-9148 are available 24 hours a day.