Seeking God's comfort after a death

There are so many things to write about, but my mind seems to draw me back to the terrible loss that I feel since my beloved husband Bob passed away on July 6. Since you all became acquainted with him through my column, I wanted to share this with you.

It was unexpected. Early in the morning, he developed terrible pains in his abdomen. Instead of the pain decreasing, it seemed to get worse as the day wore on. By about 6 p.m., he couldn't stand the pain and I took him into the emergency room.

After several tests, it was found that he had a perforated bowel. This was a terrible diagnosis. They said they could operate, but his age was against him plus many other health issues. His chances of making it through the operation were very slim. If he did make it, he would have to go into a nursing home.

He wore a "do not resuscitate" bracelet and continually reminded me that he never wanted to go into a nursing home. So I made the decision to not have the operation. He was taken up to the fourth floor where they have a palliative (end of life) care section. He was taken off of everything except the pain medication. It was a very nice room and the nurses were so caring and helpful.

Our kids had arrived during the night. By 7:33 a.m. the next morning, he had taken his last breath. He had left his earthly body and was now in heaven with the Lord. No more pain. He had been having trouble with his eyes, and now he has perfect eyesight. To be in the presence of the Lord is so awesome; I scarcely can take it in. As much as I miss him and grieve for him, I don't wish him back where he was in so much pain.

The days are long, the nights are long and I continue to grieve and miss him terribly. I feel like my heart is going to break. Has anyone ever died of a broken heart? As I go through this valley in my life, I cry out to God and He is ever present and I feel that only He can heal my broken heart. As each new day dawns, I feel God is there holding my hand.

Thanks to all of you who sent cards, letters and donations for the Honor Flight and phone calls. You will never know how much they are appreciated.

The Bob Miller Family (Marilyn)