In need of more training on the TV channel changer

I think I have mentioned in past columns how the TV clicker in this family is controlled 90 percent of the time by one person in this family and that person sure isn't me. You guessed it, it is good old Bob.

He has that clicker in his hand so much that I swear it is molded to fit his hands. His idea of watching TV is to continually switch from one station to another. As an example, he could have the Brewers on one station, a news station on another, or even a mystery show on another.

Every time a commercial comes on, his fingers just automatically start pushing buttons, mainly the recall button. By now I am so confused I don't know what I am watching. I get the characters mixed up and the plot not only thickens, but by now my mind is completely mush.

It is so rare for it to find its way into my hot little paw, I hardly know how to use it. I honestly don't know what some of the buttons are for.

So when Bob is not hogging the clicker and I find it unattended on the coffee table, I am like a kid with a new toy. It's almost as good as Christmas.

Invariably when I finally have it all to myself, I too start pushing buttons, just to feel what it is like, when all of a sudden a blip flashes across the screen saying something to the effect that to get to the previous station, do thus and so.

I begin to get a wee bit flustered and I'm thinking to myself, I better get this thing back in working order pronto or my name will be mud. But to no avail. Here I have the TV all to myself and all that is on the screen is a crazy message that I can't make heads or tails of. I am finally so confused that the only thing to do is turn it off. What a dilemma. I turn it back on thinking -- and hoping -- that it will miraculously be fixed.

But to no avail. That crazy message is still there, bigger than life. So my idea of peacefully watching just one channel has gone up in smoke. Foiled again.

When Bob comes moseying in and flips on the TV and sees this message on the screen (gulp here it comes) he turns to me and says, "What did you do this time?" I give him a blank stare, hoping I look real innocent, but he can see right through me and says "OK, 'fess up what did you do?

Folks, this is the story of my life.