Advice offered for senior getaways

Many spouses take a vacation together every year to see their adult children, to see old friends, or just to see new sights. Maggie and John (fictional names) always went to Florida, but after John was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 2005,the trip had become more and more of a challenge.

Now, it was simply impossible to pull it off any longer. However, this year, Maggie decided she wanted -- and needed -- to take a vacation.

For the first time, she was going to leave her husband

behind and go see family for one week in Florida, then

spend another week traveling the coast and see an area in

Maine she had always longed to visit.

The plan sounded perfect on paper, but in reality, Maggie struggled with making the final commitment. Even

though she made arrangements for his care and it was

best for his safety to stay home, she just couldn't shake

the guilt. Like Maggie, many caregivers of loved ones with dementia and other illnesses,struggle with these mixed feelings. They need time off,yet are haunted by guilt.

What many caregivers fail to recognize is how important taking a break is for their general health and well-being.

Respite care is specifically designed for that reason.

Time off provides caregivers with an opportunity to

refresh both mind and body,which ultimately enhances

the quality of care for their loved one upon their return.

So how can caregivers pull it off without feeling guilty?

Making sure that a loved one is in good hands is a giant

step toward offsetting guilt.Assisted living communities

in Fort Scott such as the Presbyterian Village can offer respite care for times away,such as in this scenario, in a

comfortable setting.

Another tip to consider is having the care begin a few days before your departure to give you a chance to discuss the person's daily needs with the staff. While still home and trying out the respite service, it will give you time to pack, shop for incidentals and see how your loved one responds to the caregiver without you being present.

Knowing he/she is in capable hands really helps to ease your mind when you are

away.

Other tips to consider:

Bring along some familiar

items such as pictures, a comfortable

chair, and other favorite items to help him/her feel at home.

Find out about recreational activities and other opportunities on site for socialization to keep your loved one busy and happy.

Equally important, dismiss any suspected or real

criticism from outsiders. No one should pass judgment unless they have walked in the caregiver's shoes. In the

meantime, politely say,"Thank you for your concern,

but this will be a good break for both of us. I am happy to

say he/she will be going to a great place."

In the end, when caregivers permit themselves to

take time off, the outcome of their decision will more than

likely outweigh any uncertainty they had. Even more,

after a successful stay, caregivers can learn to guiltlessly

and confidently lean on their newfound caregiving friends.

Information was provided in part by summer 2010 Care

Advantage, from the Alzheimer's Foundation of America.

Editor's Note: Ginger Dierksen is executive director

of Presbyterian Village in Fort Scott.