Saint Valentine's legacy, Valentine's celebrations

Once upon a time (as the legend goes) Rome's Emperor Claudius II, a vicious (not-to-mention insane) warrior, tried to figure out why his young men refused to go to battle. When it was determined that they did not want to leave their wives, families, and girlfriends, the emperor's answer was simple: pass a law to cancel all the marriages and engagements.

A Roman Bishop by the name of Valentine, defying the Emperor's law, continued in secret to perform wedding ceremonies.

He was ultimately caught and condemned to death for violating the law. While waiting execution, many young couples threw notes and flowers through the window of his cell. The prison guard's own daughter did the same.

Soon she convinced her father to allow her to visit Bishop Valentine in his cell. On the day of Valentine's execution, February 14, 270 AD, he composed a love letter to the young girl and signed it simply, "From Your Valentine." Not surprisingly, by the Middle Ages Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.

Tomorrow we celebrate Saint Valentine's legacy. For some this opportunity to demonstrate love is all about romance, flowers, and candlelight dinners. For others it is a sad reminder of a love lost or a love never found. And for yet others it is nothing more than an annual guilt trip. Which is it to you?

Our high school is transformed for Valentine's Day. Florists arrive hourly carrying bouquets smothered with stuffed animals, heart-shaped candies, and sweet-smelling candles. Names are called and students converge on our auditorium, many hoping their gifts are bigger than their friend's and others just glad they were remembered with something.

I wonder what God thinks of Valentine's Day. Our Heavenly Father who IS love, who sacrificed His precious Son in an act of love, who narrowed the ten commandments into two -- both dealing with love ... how does He view this day? Does He celebrate our desire to show love to one another, knowing that for this one day a year we are making an attempt to do what He asks us to do every single day? Or does He grieve over it ... because we don't do a better job of it the other 364 days? Because it's too forced? Because it's too commercialized?

I personally have run the gamut of affection for Valentine's Day. During one period of my life I copied my girlfriend's "love tradition" and bought heart-shaped baking pans of varying sizes. In one I baked a meatloaf; in another I placed mashed potatoes (with a few drops of red dye added for effect); still another held the white cake with red frosting. One year I even cut the biscuits into hearts. Everything ... from napkins to paper plates to decorations ... was covered in hearts and cupids, and each family member had a wrapped valentine memento beside his plate.

Surely God was pleased with all the love I was sharing that night.

I should have been given an award.

This culinary masterpiece was such a hit with my husband Dave and our sons that I decided to repeat it the following year and the year after that and ... well, you get the picture. After about the fifth year of our Valentine tradition, Jeff, our oldest son, spoke up. "Um, Mom ... um ... we know you've put a lot of work into this and that's really cool but ... um ..." Jeff looked terrified. His two brothers, directly behind him, prodded him on. "Mom ... we don't know how to tell you this, but we all HATE meatloaf. And the red mashed potatoes are really weird." I thought his brothers were going to clap. "But we love the cake."

Well, well, well, isn't this special? I thought. Let's see ... how many years have I been doing this? And no one told me I was WASTING MY TIME?????

God was probably NOT pleased with the lack of love I shared that night.

For the next few years I gave up on making Valentine's Day special for my kids. Oh, they would get the traditional card and a belt or socks or whatever else I could find on sale, but once I had to retire my heart-shaped pans, I lost most of my enthusiasm to knock myself out to impress my family.

I wonder if our Heavenly Father ever felt the same. We know, according to scripture, that God became frustrated. He would pour out His love for the Israelites, only to find they had chosen a gold calf or a jillion other useless gods over Him. Yet even that did not stop Him from reaching out to those He loved. He sent miracles; He sent plagues; He affected weather patterns and the rotation of the earth; He even sent prophets to beg His chosen ones to straighten up and love Him back. And finally, when all that failed, He sent Himself in the form of a man. The perfect atonement for His children's sins, selfishness, and lack of love.

God was, and is, in the business of extending grace, no matter how many times He is disappointed. He never loses His enthusiasm to knock Himself out to impress His family.

He calls on us to do the same. Not just on Valentine's Day. Every day. No matter what we get back. No excuses. Even if our heart-shaped meatloaf is unappreciated. Yes, even then.