Listening: Most important part of communicating

Two weeks ago I flew to Florida to see my husband and two of our sons who are all in the middle of baseball's spring training. It was an early morning flight and going on three hours' sleep is never fun, so I was grateful to find an available window seat where I could lay my head and catch up on my sleep. A couple entering the cabin after me opted for the aisle seats, she in my row and her husband across from her. Behind them came another couple. Realizing there were no two seats together, I offered to give one of them my seat so they wouldn't be separated; the wife rejected my overture and took the middle seat directly in front of her husband who sat between me and the woman in the aisle seat. Immediately the two in my row began talking...

... and talking...and talking.

For the entire two-plus hours, they rarely came up for air. I could have croaked and they wouldn't have noticed. Covering about every subject imaginable, they switched gears like a NASCAR driver at the Indy 500. From their travel plans to their children to their love of lasagna to their religion to the problems with catheters used on them during their hospital stays (I'm not making this up.), they became so familiar with each other that they actually exchanged e-mail addresses when they deplaned.

Occasionally they would attempt to converse with their own spouses: Hey, Bob, Mike here just bought a truck, too. Sue, you're not going to believe this, but Donna likes granite countertops just like you do. When their mates grunted or didn't even reply, my aisle-mates failed to notice and continued on with their own verbal ping-pong competition.

Now I don't mind talkative people, but Donna never allowed Mike to complete a story. She was the poster child for interruptions. Mike started to discuss how he had confronted his hillbilly neighbors about the weed their son was hiding on his truck's front tire, but as soon as he took a breath, she started her saga about HER neighbor who had actually caused her best friend to leave the neighborhood. The man never once finished a story... and trust me, this was very frustrating. Not that I was eavesdropping or anything, but it was all I could do to not ask Donna to JUST ZIP IT so I could find out how Mike's neighbor responded to his tattling.

In the high school speech textbook I use, Donna's mode of communicating is referred to as self-centered listening. We listen ONLY to think of what we're going to say next. I know it well; it's the type of listening I do far too frequently when I'm conversing with God. Dumping my to do list in His lap without asking Him to help me set priorities; allowing my mind to wander during my quiet time, reading the Bible and wondering why friends and family members don't do what it says; disregarding what my conscience tells me to do when the alternative is so much more fun; not recognizing His many blessings in the course of a day; calling His providential work coincidence or luck, are all methods I've used.

How many times is God trying to get my attention but I'm too focused on what I want to say? And how much am I missing because I am too self-absorbed to listen for His instruction and inspiration, leading me into a closer walk with Him? Listening to the conversation on that flight reminded me of how much I need to ZIP IT and give God a chance.

In the scheme of things it really doesn't matter if Donna listened to Mike on that flight, but the repercussions of me not listening to my Heavenly Father are much more critical. Donna only ran the risk of losing the opportunity to learn something about or from Mike. Compare that to the loss of the opportunity to learn something about or from God. A life of faith is a life grounded in communion with God, and it is no coincidence that the root of the English word communion is the same as for the word communication.

If we desire to have healthy communication with one another, it is important to remember that we need to listen as well as speak. And, when it comes to communication, and thus communion, with God, aren't we being a little arrogant if we fail to recognize that listening is the most important part?