Running into the new year backwards

I made the decision several years ago to discontinue the tradition of New Year's resolutions. I have usually broken the resolution by week one, broken it for the second time by week two, and by February, I have forgotten what my resolution even was.

However, this year, I think I have the winning ticket. I have made the decision to grow a few years younger in 2009.

At 24 years old, I am not by any means elderly or at the peak of my maturity. However, I have always attempted to be what I thought a responsible adult should.

I had children and married at a fairly young age, started my first full-time job when I was 8 and enrolled in college shortly after my 16th birthday.

Because of this, I have reaped many benefits, but, I have also seen parts of my life -- important things -- begin to fade. This includes my sense of humor, adventurousness, and the attention I pay to the small things in life. And let's face it, stresses over the last decade or so have knocked a few years off most our lives. Well, I think 2009 is the year to take them back.

So, I am vowing that in 2009, I will grow younger by:

* Being more concerned about my health. I will purchase and eat more Fruity Pebbles.

* Acting more responsible. At some point in 2009, I will make a list of all the housework to be done to my home, schedule out a time in which I will be free to complete this work, then spend that time watching TV.

* Demonstrating appropriate behavior. I will learn how to play the guitar, then perform a song like "My Friend's Got a Girlfriend" by Offspring, to my in-laws.

* Managing my time better. I will wake my son up on a week day at 2 a.m. to play video games and eat ice cream.

* Keeping myself up-to-date on current events. I will watch a muted presidential speech, make up my own words, then ask everyone I see the next day if they watched the "amazing speech."

* Taking things less serious. I will change the morning auto tuner on my TV from the Today Show to Sponge Bob Square Pants.

* Displaying more maturity. I would like to hit someone with a snowball then point to an inanimate object silently when they ask who did it.

* Lying upside down in a chair until I get dizzy.

* Dancing more.

* Driving to a friend's house unannounced just to play video games.

In the end, I believe everyone has room in their lives to grow just a little younger. There are plenty of people out there being serious enough for all of us.

After all, we have the rest of our lives to grow up, but, we only have the rest of our lives to be young.