Balance school, family time

Children of all ages have many opportunities to participate in community and school activities. For families, deciding which activities to participate in can be a difficult decision. Charlotte Shoup Olsen, Kansas State University Research and Extension family systems specialist, suggests that reclaiming some family time can strengthen the family and add value to family life.

Making choices is key. If parents and children are overcommitted to a seemingly endless line of activities, the family -- and each of its members -- will suffer from the stress.

Exhaustion isn't usually conducive to learning. Neither is having a mother or father who is frazzled from running children back and forth from one activity to another. Olsen offers the following tips for reclaiming family time and balancing school, family, work and community.

* Declare at least one night a week as family night. Make it a pizza, movie, or game night, or a time to cook together, do a project, play a pick-up game, go for a walk or ride bikes.

* Encourage children to bring their friends home, stay for supper or join a family activity. While a child can be happy to have a friend included, his or her family also can get better acquainted with the child's friends.

* Share family responsibilities. Get the children involved in sorting laundry, setting the table, cooking, cleaning or doing yard work to free up time for the family. Accept that a child might not complete the task as you would. Remember that learning to work as a team and accept responsibility is a valuable lesson in life and likely to be more important than a perfect fold on towels or t-shirts.

* Consider a child's age and interests, rather than you own, before choosing an activity. Feeling that you missed an opportunity in childhood, such as piano lessons or a chance to play in the band, is not a reason to assume that your child will want to do it.

* If considering an after-school or extracurricular activity, consider the time commitment for the child and others in the family. Is transportation available? How many practices will be scheduled each week? Will they be after school, in the evening, or on weekends?

* Consider the total cost of an activity. Is it possible to rent a band instrument, or to buy used rather than new? What do basketball shoes cost? How much will it cost to travel to and from practices or to away games?

* Designate a family calendar and post it in a place where entries can be made easily and schedules checked regularly.

* Enter school schedules such as vacation and in-service dates on the family calendar as soon as they become available to avoid double-booking or a last-minute scramble to schedule childcare.

* Try not to feel pressured. Think of downtime as time to recharge your batteries.

* Be willing to say, "This isn't working," and to make changes, as needed, to balance family life, school and community activities and reduce stress.

* Families typically have ups and downs. Establishing priorities can, however, be helpful in reducing stresses.

Editor's Note: Ann Ludlum is a K-State Research and Extension family and consumer sciences and 4-H extension agent assigned to Bourbon County. She may be reached at (620) 223-3720 or aludlum@ksu.edu.